Major Preparations!

Dearest friends on the internet,
I hope this message finds you full of happiness and health. All is well here today.

We have major preparations underway today. Tomorrow is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves’ 17th birthday! The world will stop and revolve around Elsie the entire day. There will be dancing, kissing, and Elsie will get her very own Fuzzy Sock Nite. I am donating it to her as a birthday gift from me just because I’m thoughtful like that...and the fact that Elsie scares the crap out of me.

I have spent the day working on my book. I’m up to the part where I was adopted by my first family. It makes me sad and mad all at the same time. Even though it hurts to think about it, I must tell my story. The world needs to hear it.

I had more than a few interruptions while I was trying to work today. The biggest culprits were Miss Holly Berry and Miss Elizabeth Taylor. I fear that Elizabeth is training Holly on the fine art of being a hussy. I noticed her showing Holly how to stick her hiney straight up in the air. Whatever I do I must devise a plan to thwart Elizabeth’s efforts. We cannot afford to have Holly corrupted by Elizabeth’s disgusting hussiness. One tart in the family is enough.

I hope you all finish your day well and prepare for battle again tomorrow. Surely to goodness by now you know that you must wash your hands and wear a face mask. Please do not give me any sass about it. It’s the right thing to do.

Very truly yours,
Bob